Monday, 28 April 2014

Inspired & Standing strong

Assalamualaikum and selamat sejahtera to the blog worms out there ! Hahaha.
Sorry it's been awhile , I got in the blues lately at it was one of the toughest one to get out from .
I'm back now.

Ready for my story? 

Hehehe . "Inspired & Standing strong" . Tonight I would like to talk about what inspires me .

I call him "Tok Abah" .  Walaupun I'm not so close with him and seldom visit him in kampung . But . I love him so much . Sejujurnya , I miss him ... I miss him a lot , dengan motosikal tok abah yang atok selalu bawa setiap hari .Let me tell you a story......

It was the hardest time in my life , it was when I had to move to a new school , a new place ... I had to leave a place called home, I had to leave my friends and my dearly beloved family . I and my sister had to travel alone. I was on the brink of falling , I had no hope and strength to leave my family in Johor and enter boarding school. We only had each other , me and my sister. Tok Abah was very ill and he was hospitalized. Eventhough it was my dream to enter boarding school since I was a little girl .

I remembered it was a evening , It was the day of my flight to Sabah . I heard my dad saying " Don't tell Abah , just give him support . Don't make him sad" I knew what was happening. Tok Abah had internal bleeding somewhere in his body ... but the doctor couldn't detect it , and with this the doctor couldn't stop the bleeding. I walked silently along the corridor halls , the smell of antibiotics peircing my nostrils , my steps grew nearer to the room where my Tok Abah was placed. The first sight of him was just heartbreaking .

My heart sank when I saw the machine and all the wires attached to him . I put on a mask and forced a smile on my face and walked near him . He saw me ..... He smiled , I can see it  in his eyes that he knew the truth. He grasped my hand and he said this " Nadia dapat asrama penuh kan?" I answered "A'ah tok abah , nadia dapat asrama penuh kt sabah" He held my hand tighter , he said " Nadia nak jadi doktor kan? .....Belajar baik - baik , jadi doktor nanti... boleh rawat tok abah.. You have to stay strong , stay strong"....You know that lump in your throat that's forcing your tears to flow ? It was reaching the limit where I couldn't take it anymore. I salam my Tok Abah and bid farewell before I pursue my studies in smesh.

Two weeks after , we had our first "balik bermalam" , I had my phone off the whole day until my sister told the news . Tok Abah has passed away and I just cried and cried until the sorrows were gone.

Tok Abah was the most humble person I ever knew in my life . Dia hanya bekerja sebagai seorang penoreh getah , He was loved by many and everybody knew him. Until my daddy beli pisang goreng pun kena tanya " Ni anak sulung Pakcik Hamid ea?" He helped everybody , he was nice to everyone. Dan kalau bab makan "kambing" ni memang dia nombor satu , sepesen dengan cucu pertama Tok Abah ni *smiles with teeth . Hehehehehe. Tok Abah adore children especially toddlers and babies. He'll always showed his best side even in his worst situation. Nadia minta maaf , Tok Abah tak sempat nak tengok Nadia kahwin and have a happy family. I'm the first granddaughter for the Hamid's family and I'm the one who's putting up the standard for the little ones. I'm trying so hard to be a good "kakak" to all of you. We all had a great loss. It was different to celebrate  First Hari Raya without him last year.

You know at the moment ......Tok Abah advised me , I just can I say this... It's like ...He understands me , and how much I needed someone to tell me it's okay and help me to stand up ...... It's hard to describe. He was my spirit at that time , the spirit to fight and pursue my dreams. He's one of my heroes. So if I want to find a husband one day . I want to find someone like Tok Abah and Daddy .

Other than that , my lovely girlfriends & boyfriends are my heroes and heroines too. They're crazy, scary, wicked, nice, kind, loving, evil , caring and just happy go luck people! It's okay if we don't talk to each other often because I know if one of us is out upside down on the frown or in a twisted tall of sorrow , we'll have each other backs. Friendship is not about how long you you've been friends with a person , but is someone who accepts you for who you are and act comfortably , share stories and be crazy with one another. It's the presence of friends in your heart , eventhough the distance is far but they're close to you. "Jauh di mata , dekat di hati"

“Wahai orang-orang yang beriman, jauhilah dari banyak berprasangka; Sesungguhnya sebahagian dari sangkaan itu adalah dosa, dan janganlah kamu mencari-cari kesalahan dan keaiban orang, dan janganlah setengah kamu mengumpat setengahnya yang lain, dan janganlah ada di antara kamu yang mengunjing sebahagian yang lain. Adakah di antara kamu yang suka memakan daging saudaranya yang sudah mati? Tentu kamu merasa jijik. (Oleh itu, patuhilah larangan-larangan yang tersebut) dan bertaqwalah kamu kepada Allah; Sesungguhnya Allah Penerima taubat, lagi Maha Mengasihani.”
(Surah Al-Hujurat, 49; Ayat 12)

Prasangka baik dengan semua orang tetapi tidak bermaksud kita senang untuk dipijak . Kita cuma perlu berhati - hati. Like a quote I've heard from "Captain America" . Nick said to Captain America :

"Your grandfather was good to all people , but that doesn't mean he trusts them"

In anything you do or anyone in this world , just be careful to be safe . Sometimes , you should learn to adapt to the surroundings . Observe, analyse and adapt. Hehehe be happy my friends.

And to my beloved Tok Abah . Agar roh beliau dicucuri rahmat oleh Allah s.w.t dan ditempakan dengan orang - orang yang beriman.

Al - Fatihah.

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