Thursday, 30 October 2014

Honour for the heart

Doesn't it make you wonder ? One a single smile, a simple text , a smiley , a voice, a song makes all sorts of feelings come out.

It has been a while since I stopped writing, and well here I am ..... Once again, writing everything the things that come to my mind. I miss this, I miss writing.... and now on this night , I decided to take up the courage and write again. Thank you , you've succeed in slowly transforming to my old self after all that I've gone through. Thank you so much ,  your sincere love is my inspiration. Thank you . There is a saying , where it says "Time will heal , just be patient". It took quite some time to heal I might say. Even though , it heals . There will be a scar as a remainder for what's done is done. You survived and became stronger, turned into a brick .. a feeling-less drone that kept a frightened girl cooped up inside and now she's overcoming her doubts and fears to move forward. You gave something special to her , and she'd bloom, smiling lovingly.

She wants to show her gratitude to you. She wants to show the world to you, she wants to bring you happiness. A smile from your family and loved ones is just breath taking , there you are staring at them smile and you didn't even realize that you were smiling too. Their appearance in your life just lifts your will and mends your heart. Their happiness equals to your happiness. That is what we call sincerity . You don't hope for a after-effect . All you want is just to show how much you adore and cherish them . These kind of things can only be felt by a good heart . They love you as much as they love themselves and maybe more. They have something many people lack , something special in them .

I forgot how to give with all my heart, Giving with your heart is when you prioritize  the ones you care about so much until when they smile, all of your sorrows instantly fades away , the impossible became possible and you will find yourself smirking alone by just remembering  them, you'll feel really hurt when you miss them and just laugh at their childish attitude and not so funny jokes. You forgive them easily although they annoy you and make your life miserable. You avoid fights with them because they  are much more valuable to lose than a meaningless fight.

They occupy a special place in your heart that can't be disturbed. They'll stay there eternity . Loving and caring you silently from a distance. Watching on every move you take . Patiently waiting for the right time to approach, thus their love is growing for you each day. Although , it isn't portrayed in words nor action. Take a minute and look into his eyes, you can see how much they mean to him. Everyone has moments when they just can't think of the right word to describe what they want to say. Sometimes, you can feel their heart talking to yours, saying .. hey, i miss you.

When you miss someone, make a dua to Allah to ease their work, to give him success in the world and after life. That is what I always do. 

Sometimes you're just too scared too talk or to act , because you're afraid that anything you do or say will hurt them. You love them too much . But hurt is inevitable, because it's a part of love. Love is not all about happiness . It's about sadness, sacrifice, honesty, faith. Love is everything as long as you believe . It's about working together, understanding each other. 

Until then , Assalamualaikum.

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Soar to the horizon & Sail the seas

Salam Alaik , hey there people.

I know it's been quite a while since i wrote , So here it is. I'm here at last.

I didn't write for quite a long time... cause I was too swept away with everything. The assignments , tutorials and lab reports, problems , tests and so much more.

And yes, this is going to be a random post where i express and calm myself to serenity.

Life has thrown a punched at me and hit me directly to the heart. Quite a powerful one i may say.*smirks .Sometimes i can just feel the motion all around me being fast fowarded by a remote control. Where i can slowly see the differences that has turned a innocent soul to a monster. A monster that seeks in perfection in the world . A monster that is too materialistic and blind enough to see what really matters in life. Not everyone was born with a strong heart ,but later in their life . They will experience everything and at that particular moment, a person changes. There's a quote saying "Pain changes people" . I have never believed the quote ever in my life .Until I myself,  have gone through it.and sadly yes, Pain does change people. To what it will become,that is a question you alone can answer.

We aren't  emotionless drones,.We're human. You dont have to act all tough and mighty everytime .It's okay to be not okay. Sometimes people are too harsh to just keep pushing someone. I'm not saying being supportive is wrong.Its just that...*sigh. We are human, we're not perfect . Not everyone is. Only the Al- Mighty is .we are just his servants in this temporary world. They are certain times , we should just hug a crying person and say..there, there....all is well, everything is going to be allright... You have done your best. There's still hope. than to rather say" try harder, you have been through this for how countless times,stay strong". Everyone has the right to break down, because sometimes they just need comfort . We all do,  Being tough and strong is tiring and challenging. You have to hide everything inside, just to act in front of your friends. It is normal to get down once a while, with the right way of supporting.They'll be back up on their feet in no time.

This is what I'm currently feeling , so yeahhh . I'll write more after the finals. See you then .

Good Luck to all whom needs it, Don't forget my name in your prayer and Assalamualaikum.

Sunday, 20 July 2014

Barakah Moments

Salam Alaik to my muslims brothers and sister & a fair welcome to my lovely friends.

Alhamdulillah , praise to Allah. We get to be in this Barakah month once again. Where , insyaAllah in every good deed we do (with sincere attention) has multiples pahala rewarded. I feel excited already!Hehehe.  Yesterday Teraweeh made my heart felt warm . I called my beloved parents and confessed that I love them and miss them so. They cried too. Awww , eventhough it is not my first time being away from my family. The feeling where you miss them , just never fades and it  haunts you in every edge of your so strong heart . It's is not a sin to confess to your parents or wrong, It is actually one of the good deeds that can strengthen your silaturrahim with your loved ones. If you're scared people will look you as a "manja" child , especially the ones that is always clinging to their parents. So be it , Ignore those insolent fools who doesn't know what they're missing. Family is everything . Don't be shy to tell that you love and care for them. Seriously, I've been through that phase... and It took quite a time for me to realize the importance of such a beautiful bond. Love and care for them while they are still with us. Make them proud of you. Setiap ibu bapa nak tengok anak - anak mereka yg berjaya. They want us to achieve success and live a happy life

This month is not like the other months we encountered.This month is where we put aside our differences to find serenity. Even how busy you are , please pray 5 times a day. Let it be a priority . Don't care how late you do it. Just force yourself to complete those 5 prayers . It will bring you wonders. The real breakdown is not when you're all stressed out and falling apart. It is when your solat is a mess and is not complete , there is something seriously wrong going on . Islam does not burden their followers , but we are the ones that assume and think it is a burden. If say you're too busy to go to a mosque and pray teraweeh in jemaah. You can perform it at home with your family or friends. Bear in mind that every little good deed you do , has it rewards. Take the Quran and read  a page after solat or read Al - mathurat when you have the free time. Then gradually increase your effort day by day. InsyaAllah. Whoever has the efforts to be close to Allah , Allah will come running towards them. Keep on on your Dua's for our unjustified brothers and sisters out there that has been killed ruthlessly and my deep condolences to the family members of the crew and passengers on the devastating news of the news on MH17. We are being tested now , we just need to keep calm and stay strong.

This month is passing. Weeks becomes days. Hours become minutes. Ramadhan is leaving us again. The same question will haunt each and everyone of us ...... will be blessed to meet Ramadhan again ? Then this is what one of my teachers thought me , eventhough we have only sweets on us. Give it to our friends and niat as a sedekah because when you give , InsyaAllah you will get back . The more you give , the more you get back . Another thing that I always do is "memenuhi hajat kawan" . Hehehehe. It brings smiles and happiness to them thus makes you feel a positive aura. 

Life and death is inevitable . We should prepare for it. Keep lifting your Dua's and don't stop making your amalan. Kita sebagai manusia tidak pernah terlepas melakukan dosa , tidak kira dosa kecil mahupun dosa besar. We should always Dua for the ones we love, the ones we care, our family, our friends , our teachers  Just pray and keep on praying , we can go through this together . Always strengthen your faith, day by day and never say you're quitting.

Monday, 9 June 2014

Naturally attached

Salam Alaik and a Good afternoon

The beautiful bond that is connected with the hearts of the people we love . It's like when everything falls down like an avalanche , they come with the tools to fix our broken spirits to mend our aching heart. Their advises and support gives us strength to stand up and continue our journey . They make us smile without even realising that we did . They make us giggle and make our life filled with colours.  To be cared of and be loved is just the best feeling in the whole wide world . You just want to shout out to the world and just smile so wide and spread glitters of happiness to the world with your outstanding energy and cheerful aura to the ones near you .

Appriciate the ones that sacrifice for you. Think about how hard they worked to raise you into a young and educated young lady or gentlemen . The ones who made effort to make smile and laugh when you're down . Just love and be loyal to them. Give them the best  you can . Make them smile and just please make them happy. Just do it . In any relationship , we need to give and take . Eventhough you feel awkward with your mother or father , just try to open up . In Shaa Allah , they will be delighted and be so happy that their precious ones  took his or her time to show their loving side. 

Do you ever had the feeling of missing someone so badly ? ,that you feel the lump at your throat  and the ache at your chest. I didn't know that missing someone could be so painful . Wanting them right by your side and tell all of your stories to them , hug them. to tell that you miss and love them, ... Just do it , life is short to be ashamed and scared . Sometimes you just have to go and run out of the box and be a lunatic . Hahahahaha. Do something that you think you could never had done (I mean  the crazy but good ones la ) . I'm writing tonight to calm my feelings down. It's mixed up and having big and strong currents right now. I miss the calm and skyblue waves that flows gently touch the lips of the shore. This will past soon when i'm too busy with everything. But when I get my free time and just relax after a hectic day , the feelings just comes in and overwhelmes me with the memories , the distance .... everything. I can't describe it here.

I miss my own room , I miss my annoying and crazy little sister , I miss my parents joking around playfully , I miss my lil bro coming to me crying blaming abang cause he doesn't want to give the ps3 controller, I miss my cousin and noel funny stories, I miss his laughter and happy voice. I miss their smiles .  I just miss everything.  It's too unexplainable , too gigantic , to complicated of how much i miss everything. That's why I love keeping photos the old way, by printing them. because you'll remember the moments , you can see the smile , you can feel the feeling , you can just stare at it and laugh remembering the sweet scene you've played in your mind countless time. Have you ever thought that those most lovely memories were to bring down your tears one day? To laugh with tears is just funny and sad sometimes. 

Alhamdullillah , I am officially a mahasiswi. I'm studying in Kampus Uitm Puncak Alam and we just had our first kuliah today. One word. Tiring. Hahahaha.  As I head back to my house, the feelings just comes and comes and here I am stuck on this chair , writing everything out on my blog to give me a slightest bit of comfort. I called both of my parents to tell how was my day and that just made it worse. Hahahaha. I'm officially homesick and down . 

Someone told me " You have to be strong okay? Be tough and just punch down those difficulties away from your life. One day , you'll need to be more stronger than ever. Remember everything i told you" . It's the time where I prove that I'm a strong girl . To conquer the fear and stand strong before the lovely days come pouring down.  I will wait that one day when the happiness just pours down and everyone is just happy. No complicated feelings, no sorrow , no heartbreaks , just happiness. The day where all the fairytales came true and the happy endings prevailed.

When I miss someone , I don't blame the feelings . Feelings can't be controlled. It's the heart's languange . When it feels sick , it will send a signal . I think my heart is sick right now. Hahahaha. Don't ever forget their names in your dua when you miss them. Think of the memories you shared and the smiles you've made. It's not a bad thing too miss someone . Sometimes the other half is missing you too. 
It's not a wrong thing to admit you're missing someone , because deep down inside we all are just naturally attached.

I can't write further. I'm sorry. 

Goodnight and Assalamualaikum .

Thursday, 8 May 2014

Forgive me ?

Salam Alaik & Selamat sejahtera  to every single being that had the time to visit this blog .
First of all , Thank you ...just thank you for reading , I feel appriciated when you guys read my entries :'3

Hehe . I'm getting a little tad emotional right now. 

So tonight , I just want to be a writer with a message that may make you ponder the little things in life , the things you'd pass through , the past decision you made and who you become today.

Have you ever had the moments where you just ponder and think about what you have gone through in life , all the memories , all the joys , the heartbreaks , the silly mistakes and things that you can't just let go off? May I ask you something...was there a time in your life where you wanted to make other people happy  even if it was to sacrifice your own happiness ? Yes. I had experienced it .

"Sometimes It's just better to break it off then to build a rainbow " I acknowledge that every human in their right mind would want people around them to be always happy . I was one of these people once and I got hurt , stomped , lied and suffered just to see the people around me happy . But I didn't realised  .... if i was smart enough to realise , that they will be very happy if I was happy too. Just think... If you're mother knew that her happiness was making her child suffer , would she be really happy ? If our friends knew we we're hurting inside because of them , would there be smiles on their face ? .........Didn't you see that sacrificing yourself sometimes made them hurt even more ?

I've learned to make risky moves . Eventhough I know I will hurt them with my decision, but please understand that what I'm doing now is better for us all . When you decide , think of the future, think ahead. Will you break their heart now and in  future vision  , it will do good to both of you  or will you let this fantasy of "fairytales" continue till it will complicate things for you both and ending up breaking both of your hearts. Think wise my friends, think of a win - win situation, where you'll both get eternal and precious happiness.

There are two ways to break it to people, you either have to "pull off the band aid" or "sip a cup of tea". If it was me, I would follow the situation ,but I would usually use "sip a cup of tea" where I'll slowly break it to them . I know the feeling of "hurt and crushed feelings " won't subside. But I hope I won't be remembered being so mean and a heartless girl. 

To be honest , we are all actually heartbreakers. I have never met someone that has never made someone sad or dissapointed, you want to know why? Because.... humans aren't simply perfect . He who creates the world, the sky and everything is the Only perfect one .

In this world , there is only two types of people. The good and evil ones. If they we're only good and angelic people in this world , then what is the purpose of living ? They're must be these people who brings you down and feels pleasure in watching you cry and fall. These are the tests for us my dear ,they teach us how failure tastes like, to help us build a stronger faith and a hardcore spirit that lies deep within all of us. He will tests you with various harships and obstacles , just to see if you'll get closer to him or just ran more further into darkness. With these , we will learn to love , appriciate ones that matter  and act the rightful way on the true path of heaven.

I , Nadia Amira Binti Mohamed Nasir would like to apologise deeply from this humble heart as a "sister" to all that was with me for the past 17 years of life. I'm truly sorry , i made have made some unforgivable decisions for us both to win in the coming future . No one has the pleasure to break people's heart in any kind of way . Attentionally or inattentionally . Forgive me my fellow brothers and sisters for my sins towards you and all the bad things that I have done. I am only a dwarf and ignorant servant of Allah the Almighty that has flaws and always does sins. May Allah repay your kindness if you choose to accept my apology.

"Ya Allah forgive us all for what we have done and guide us to your Jannah , Give your protection to all of my brothers and sisters around the world., Amin Ya Rabb"

Stay simple , stay humble , make the people you love smile as they have made you happy.

Signing off. Till then. Assalamualaikum.

Monday, 28 April 2014

Inspired & Standing strong

Assalamualaikum and selamat sejahtera to the blog worms out there ! Hahaha.
Sorry it's been awhile , I got in the blues lately at it was one of the toughest one to get out from .
I'm back now.

Ready for my story? 

Hehehe . "Inspired & Standing strong" . Tonight I would like to talk about what inspires me .

I call him "Tok Abah" .  Walaupun I'm not so close with him and seldom visit him in kampung . But . I love him so much . Sejujurnya , I miss him ... I miss him a lot , dengan motosikal tok abah yang atok selalu bawa setiap hari .Let me tell you a story......

It was the hardest time in my life , it was when I had to move to a new school , a new place ... I had to leave a place called home, I had to leave my friends and my dearly beloved family . I and my sister had to travel alone. I was on the brink of falling , I had no hope and strength to leave my family in Johor and enter boarding school. We only had each other , me and my sister. Tok Abah was very ill and he was hospitalized. Eventhough it was my dream to enter boarding school since I was a little girl .

I remembered it was a evening , It was the day of my flight to Sabah . I heard my dad saying " Don't tell Abah , just give him support . Don't make him sad" I knew what was happening. Tok Abah had internal bleeding somewhere in his body ... but the doctor couldn't detect it , and with this the doctor couldn't stop the bleeding. I walked silently along the corridor halls , the smell of antibiotics peircing my nostrils , my steps grew nearer to the room where my Tok Abah was placed. The first sight of him was just heartbreaking .

My heart sank when I saw the machine and all the wires attached to him . I put on a mask and forced a smile on my face and walked near him . He saw me ..... He smiled , I can see it  in his eyes that he knew the truth. He grasped my hand and he said this " Nadia dapat asrama penuh kan?" I answered "A'ah tok abah , nadia dapat asrama penuh kt sabah" He held my hand tighter , he said " Nadia nak jadi doktor kan? .....Belajar baik - baik , jadi doktor nanti... boleh rawat tok abah.. You have to stay strong , stay strong"....You know that lump in your throat that's forcing your tears to flow ? It was reaching the limit where I couldn't take it anymore. I salam my Tok Abah and bid farewell before I pursue my studies in smesh.

Two weeks after , we had our first "balik bermalam" , I had my phone off the whole day until my sister told the news . Tok Abah has passed away and I just cried and cried until the sorrows were gone.

Tok Abah was the most humble person I ever knew in my life . Dia hanya bekerja sebagai seorang penoreh getah , He was loved by many and everybody knew him. Until my daddy beli pisang goreng pun kena tanya " Ni anak sulung Pakcik Hamid ea?" He helped everybody , he was nice to everyone. Dan kalau bab makan "kambing" ni memang dia nombor satu , sepesen dengan cucu pertama Tok Abah ni *smiles with teeth . Hehehehehe. Tok Abah adore children especially toddlers and babies. He'll always showed his best side even in his worst situation. Nadia minta maaf , Tok Abah tak sempat nak tengok Nadia kahwin and have a happy family. I'm the first granddaughter for the Hamid's family and I'm the one who's putting up the standard for the little ones. I'm trying so hard to be a good "kakak" to all of you. We all had a great loss. It was different to celebrate  First Hari Raya without him last year.

You know at the moment ......Tok Abah advised me , I just can I say this... It's like ...He understands me , and how much I needed someone to tell me it's okay and help me to stand up ...... It's hard to describe. He was my spirit at that time , the spirit to fight and pursue my dreams. He's one of my heroes. So if I want to find a husband one day . I want to find someone like Tok Abah and Daddy .

Other than that , my lovely girlfriends & boyfriends are my heroes and heroines too. They're crazy, scary, wicked, nice, kind, loving, evil , caring and just happy go luck people! It's okay if we don't talk to each other often because I know if one of us is out upside down on the frown or in a twisted tall of sorrow , we'll have each other backs. Friendship is not about how long you you've been friends with a person , but is someone who accepts you for who you are and act comfortably , share stories and be crazy with one another. It's the presence of friends in your heart , eventhough the distance is far but they're close to you. "Jauh di mata , dekat di hati"

“Wahai orang-orang yang beriman, jauhilah dari banyak berprasangka; Sesungguhnya sebahagian dari sangkaan itu adalah dosa, dan janganlah kamu mencari-cari kesalahan dan keaiban orang, dan janganlah setengah kamu mengumpat setengahnya yang lain, dan janganlah ada di antara kamu yang mengunjing sebahagian yang lain. Adakah di antara kamu yang suka memakan daging saudaranya yang sudah mati? Tentu kamu merasa jijik. (Oleh itu, patuhilah larangan-larangan yang tersebut) dan bertaqwalah kamu kepada Allah; Sesungguhnya Allah Penerima taubat, lagi Maha Mengasihani.”
(Surah Al-Hujurat, 49; Ayat 12)

Prasangka baik dengan semua orang tetapi tidak bermaksud kita senang untuk dipijak . Kita cuma perlu berhati - hati. Like a quote I've heard from "Captain America" . Nick said to Captain America :

"Your grandfather was good to all people , but that doesn't mean he trusts them"

In anything you do or anyone in this world , just be careful to be safe . Sometimes , you should learn to adapt to the surroundings . Observe, analyse and adapt. Hehehe be happy my friends.

And to my beloved Tok Abah . Agar roh beliau dicucuri rahmat oleh Allah s.w.t dan ditempakan dengan orang - orang yang beriman.

Al - Fatihah.

Friday, 18 April 2014

Program Latihan Khidmat Negara

   Salam Alaik and aloha people of earth :)

Hehehehe , how are you guys ? I'm sorry for the late entry, quite occupied for a  few days. For today , I would share my experience when I entered my National Service . I was assigned to "Kem Nasuha " in Pagoh, Muar. Jauh kan dari Sabah ? Macam hujung dunia ke hujung dunia . Hahahaha . 

Last year , kami ramai - ramai form 5 check 'PLKN' . Honestly, my nawaitu that I really wanted to enter National Service since I was in form 2 . The reason?.... sebab I think not all people can experience that kind of programme and I think it's fun and exciting. Plus , I'm an adrenaline junkie . I love outdoor activities eventhough I 'm not that brave , but I'm wiling to try ...So yeah , I was really excited.

True story , Bila check nama and then dia ckp "Maaf.... " sedih gila time tu , but then my friend said cuba check balik . And I check backed . Guess what ? I WAS SELECTED ! Alhamdullilah , I was so grateful and very happy , kalau bley nak satu dunia tau . Hahahahaha . I and my batchmate , was the only muslim girls yang excited dapat plkn . Because well , plkn destroyed most of the students "new year's plans" . Truth be told , I didn't have any plans for my new year .

Days passed , and it came to where I took a flight from Sabah to Semenanjung with my beloved daddy  on the 3rd January and  registered at Taman Hoki Taman Daya  On the 4th  and got in my bus , I made friends with Safi. a girl that was waiting in the line with me. Hahaha. and as soon smpai je , kena agihkan kompeni and register semua . Mine kompeni is Delta. Dorm 24 , atas bukit dan antara dorm yg paling hujung. Tapi sebelum naik dorm , beg kene check , mmng malu habis ... Hahahaha , ingat lagi cikgu Azma cakap "Lurusnya budak ni , habisla kau kt sni" .  Dengan beg besar wrna hitam daki bukit yg curam , dah la saya ni kecik je.. Haihh..kelakr la yg penting.naik gunung tu. Kitaorg kumpulan first smpai kt kem tu. Senior dua hari you might say :p

With my family far away , you could say I got homesick really fast . Hahaha, yela maklumlah dapat plkn kt jb kt sabah. Macam tak pernah berjauhan , padahal dulu asrama penuh. Hahaha..biasala tu kan ... And then kitaorg diisukan pakaian , baju PT , baju inner loreng , baju kelas and Full loreng . Nanti nadia tunjuk mcm mana baju tu . And then kami  diberitahu di mana nak makan , di mana nk berkumpul. Phone pun dapat seminggu sehari je . Jumaat petang dapat , sabtu petang pulang .Dia macam asrama jugak cuma aktiviti je lain.

Kami di ajar kawad asas dan tak lama lepas tu kami ada kelas. Kelas Pembinaan Karakter . Saya masuk CB3 , hihi..jurulatih kitaorg cikgu Fareza , cikgu Hana dan Cikgu Taufik , semua best .Kami diagihkn kumpulan. Nama kumpulan kitaorg patriotik , dan masa first first ..nadia bertegur dgn girls je.. Hahaha, kinda awkward with boys but lama - lama okayla . They are a few modules here . Untuk Character building , and I catch this oppurtunity to boost my confidence to talk to an audience. To be honest, saya pemalu . I can't speak well with a crowd but I can talk with  individuals quite well . So yes , I took the privilege to improve myself . Dekat kelas CB ni banyak yg di ajar, teamwork , the traits, how to act and everything else . Lepas kelas CB habis kita ada kelas MB , that is modul bekerja .

Kami diajar cara untuk menghadiri interview, how should we act dan ciri - ciri seorang yang diinginkan untuk bekerja. The world now needs people that has quality and creative . We learned about "image" . Kalau perasan kan .. we show people what they want to see about us . This is the truth , try to reflect yourself.

Kami ada banyak pertandingan dan acara - acara luar . Macam khidmat komuniti , first khidmat komuniti kami pergi Muzium Tentera Darat pastu kami ramai - ramai lunch di pantai . It was fun . Second , we went to Kampung Muar .. dan ada di bahagikan lagi pergi certain areas. Then kitaorg keluar belajar swimming and menembak . The shooting was nice , bergegar nak pegang M16 . First time la katakan . Chances to hold a gun for a girl like me is seriously limited . Hahahaha.

Pastu ada satu hari di mana kami kena cungkil bakat..kami diajar bersajak , bernazim and lots more. Best sangat . Setiap kumpulan kena persembahkan satu puisi moden dengan puisi tradisional; . Time tu CB3 dgn CB6 gabung kalau tak silap . Kumpulan kami nama dia "Rentap" / And we won :D Hahahahaha . Pastu ada SSP lagi , setiap kompeni diberi suatu peristiwa/ tokoh dan kita harus lakonkan. Semua terlibat . Amik kau , Tak saya dengan black nak handle satu kompeni . Nasib ada banyak kawan yang tolong , mcm Seow , Aizat and Suha. Cikgu Najib ngn Cikgu Sal lagi. Time tu , it was a really tough time for Delta.It was hectic and insanely would I put this... "falling out of hope" but Alhamdullillah , we got our spirits up and did our best . For the first time, we scored third place as a company . Eventhough it was not first , but we did it with a nawaitu thatis to change people's perspective about Delta .But according to the jurulatih kalau bab "penghayatan dlm watak" Delta number one okay... cuma dia punya jalan cerita is a lil bit slow. Tu je slack . It was the first time I and black jadi pencerita . So it was kinda tough . It was everybody's first time doing all of this . So yeah , we did our best :)

Pastu ada wirajaya ... We went in the woods for a night. As usual wirawati Delta paling lambat sbb paling belakang. Smpai2 je tapak , we start doing khemah , sempadan, some of us cooked . Everything needs to be ready before 5.30 sbb nanti ada inspection dengan commander . Hahaha . kelam kabut semua orang .Ingat lagi saya kene nyanyi guna haler sbb nak minta tali lebih dari logistik . Hahahaha. Cikgu Hasnor ckp " Ni kau menyanyi ke bersyair? Sedap juga suara..kenapa tak masuk pertandingan? " Hahaha. No way man/ Nak cakap depan pun gagap ape lagi nyanyi. Pastu tukar2 turn jaga malam . I slept during berjaga dengan kayu . Aduhai , penat gila serious . dah la kawan - kawan asyik masak pastu suap makan. Hihi . It was the most fun experience ever . Kami solat dengan niat khuff. oh yea , kitaorg kene jaga malam sebab jurulatih akan sedaya upaya curi barang/ masuk kawasan/ culik kawan kita. Hanya jurulatih yg tidur dlm kawasan kita je kita boleh percaya. Komander nak masuk pun kita kene tanya password dulu. Best kan aktiviti ni?

Ape lagi ea , Kita ada kelas kenegaraan, Ni rombak . Tak guna kelas CB dah :'( New group juga and new people. Kinda sedih la time ni sebab dah selesa sgt dgn group CB kan... huhu.. Kt sini kitaorg belajar tentang negara . About our Lovely Malaysia :) .Senang cerita tntg DKRT . That is Daulat . Kerajaan. Rakyat . Tanah . then ada game.. gila ganas punya ! Hahaha . Girls and boys  should prepare to avoid or protect their tanah and raja. Time tu kita belajar macam mana rasanya bila kedaulatan kita tercabar , how to protect and love our country . Usually in these classes , we will share what we have learned , tapi dengan kerelaan sendiri tanpa dipaksa. We had the chance , why don't just take it as an useful input :)

And then we have pertandingan Kawad . Mother of all competitions . If you win this , perkara itu akan menjadi buah mulut khalatak ramai yang meniti dari bibir ke bibir pelatih akan datang. Haa , that i show important that competition is , for our intake . Semua pelatih masuk , no exception . Jadi yang tak pndai kawad semua needed to be perfected . We got number 3rd to untuk wirawati Delta . Well , as I always said "Everything happens for a reason". Ada hikmah saya ditempatkan kat Delta .

Then kita ada kelas Integrasi , This is where we learn more about their cultures , pantang larang , tarian , makanan and much more . Saya paling suka kelas ni sbb best . Biasanya cikgu akan bagi bahan kt kita pastu kene bentangkan kt kawan2 kita yg lain . tpi ada 10 method nk bentangkn . ada pentomin, lakonan, drama . persidangan,choral speaking , nyanyian dalam berkumpulan , peta minda , puppet show dan ada lagi yg lain tapi lupa dah. . Kelas integrasi ni ikut kelas CB , jadi mmng tak pernah lekang dengan gelak tawa . Hahaha . lagi2 bila syafiq , Amir ngn Acad berlakon. Berdekah gelak .

Sebenarnya banyak lagi pertandingan yg dianjurkan untuk rebut markah , tapi nanti kang kalau cerita semua ada jugak pembaca yg bosan kan. So yeah.

Baru - baru ni saya ada keluar dengan junior saya , saya tanya dia " Do you see any changes in me  after plkn? " . He said this "To me it's actually you've been more stronger when facing things that you've faced , you're more open and sporting" . Hahaha , well that's a good feedback . Thanks. Banyak yang saya telah alami dan belajar dekat kem . It's all up to you actually . Untuk ambil tindakan atau tidak :)

Oh yeah , here are a few pictures pakaian yang diisukan,

Baju PT with Emsa 

Full loreng with Nabilah Farid

Baju Kelas , selfie by us 

Candid , Love brings happiness

Half loreng with Athin

Kami sedia berkhidmat Tuan !

 Smileeeeeeee , saya wirawati Delta WWD 845

Dan kepada wira - wirawati yang takut nak masuk plkn . Insyallah , there's nothing there . Cuma kene kuatkan semangat , have strong faith , "hablum minannas" jaga perhubungan antara rakan dan jurulatih , Listen to the rules. Oh yea , Especially for girls ...kalau size baju tu .. take a size bigger than your body especially PT sebab dia kecut lepas basuh . tapi kalau baju kelas or inner loreng I think it's okay kot. But on the safe and better side , choose the choice you think is right for you. Saya cuma menasihat , bukan memaksa. We need to give support not by pushing and forcing them . Kita buat apa yang termampu je, Just ignore what they say to you , you know what's right kan :)

And use these 3 months as a priviledge to collect your pahala , Read the Quran , Listen to the ustaz usrah , improve your reading , teach your friends , amalkan sunnah , get to know islam better and get to know other religions too . Get close with your chinese , Ibanese , Indian and Kadazandusun friends. It's a really good base to get more info. If you're different than other people , why hide? Show them , cause you're limited, one in a million. You're special. Don't let the jerks out there persuade you to change your unique personality just to "fit" in society. Stay true to yourself & just be who you are. 

If we have the will , then don't stop where you are , step up foward. To say and to act is two different things , remember . Example me , I took this chance to be a braver kiddo to try and boost my confidence up eventhough I know I'll get treated as a joke, what do I care , it is not me to be selfish , but I know I'm doing something good for myself , PLKN is a programme that helps us a lot for university, it is mainly teaching us the basic things in life, but nowadays youngsters they lack of proper courtesy and "gold" traits . A heart of gold is difficult to find these days. A lot of them know about  this but they tend to just pass through it without giving a second thought. To those who maybe still can't get to adapt to a new enviroment , just try to open your heart there , because... you  have to accept that you are already there and nothing can change that, so.. it's better just to enjoy it the way we can :)

" Sesungguhnya Allah tidak akan mengubah nasib sesuatu kaum kecuali kaum itu sekali yang mengubah apa - apa yang ada pada diri mereka "

(Surah Ar Rad:11)

Will write more soon , Keep those grin on your face and don't forget to make people happy
Spread the positive vibes and shake negative ones off. 

Salam Alaik and goodbye.

Thursday, 17 April 2014

Pebbles To Boulders

Salam Alaik and bonjour mes amie :)

Hey are you ? Well there are two drafts that I haven't post yet , they still need some touch - up . But now is just a personal post to just calm my heart down and let it all out . So if you're interested to read this emotional roller coaster ride , then you may continue.

I.....Ya Allah...sejujurnya... I'm in the brink of the edge of hope. But that doesn't mean I'm going to give up . I just need time to calm my feelings down and just let it all out. I need time to recover . Overthinking really makes a person insane I tell you. Pressure makes people lose their sense.  It is more easier handling a scraped knee than hormone issues. I assure you , when you get this stage , you'll be gasping for "air" . Hahahaha. There is too much to think about , to plan your future and acknowledge the path you're going to take . This is going to be one heck of a bumpy ride.

I'm eighteen this year. I have read a tweet that states :

"Study 6 years to get 5 A's, 3 years to get 8 A's, 2 years to get 9 A's and now 1 year to get 4 flat. Life just gets harder "

This is a fact , You could observe that the less the time to study , the higher the target you should achieve. Globalization changed the world into a materialistic and sci- fi it is now. People are getting ruthless and more barbaric. Don't believe me ? Read the news , keep up to date. Father kills daughter , son slaughters mother ? Allahuakhbar. The world now is old and dying and we are losing the light that guides us. We are diving into darkness . Some people are too blinded with greed and money . Some people are mistaken that "money" is a sign of "love" and with this "love" comes happiness. This is where I think the definition of love is manipulated . 

Money does bring happiness in certain situations , But let me ask you personally.....Would you buy a really expensive watch or would you just knit a sweater or a homemade card for the ones you love ? and which would you more treasure the homemade card or the watch? If it was me , I would definitely choose the card because it has "sentimental value" that money can't buy. Okay back to the topic.

Ever saw a yin yang symbol in the chinese philosophy? Let me explain a little bit. Yin - Yang are opposites , they are interdependent , they can not exist without each other . In simpler terms , they need each other, if one is missing it will not be completed. Jadi...kita kenelah beringat...sekejam- kejamnya seseorang itu , dia masih ada lagi kebaikan walaupun sekecil zarah di dalam hatinya. Nothing is impossible if you beileve in God. Unless..... Astagfirullahalazim....Ya Allah, kau tetapkanlah hati kami pada jalanmu yang benar dan kurniakanlah rahmatmu kpd kami..Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.

Everybody has the right to make a change , to change yourself... let alone to the world. We all can make a difference. Eventhough , how small is the change.......... Remember , a small change can make a BIG difference. Let me tell you a story, When I was in kindergarden , I could speak proficient english and through out the years I went to middle school , I downgraded . Not only my english but my Mathematics too . Untuk pengetahuan , saya memang seorang yang jenis yang sangat takut dan sangat menghormati guru - guru dan ibubapa saya. Subject yang saya paling takut is Matematik, The most I could score was 50/100.

My dad would go ballistic trying to teach me maths , time tu jam yang nombor - nombor pun susah untuk saya baca , I was that bad in Maths . Here's a funny backflash , My maths teacher , cikgu Azizul suka betul aim saya sbb saya jenis yg banyak diam dan tak bertanya kalau tak tahu , So one day , dia suruh saya pergi papan putih dan selesaikan soalan maths , and you know what happen? I got a really bad nosebleed the exact time i wanted to try to solve the question and ended up in the teacher's office with me on the sofa laying down with a nose bleed. I know, that is what a mathematic question did to me pathethic kan ? *sigh.

Not long after that , I was agitated with my mathematic mark and asked my friend , Nazar  everytime I don't understand the question. We made a deal to exchange subjects , He'll teach me maths and I'll teach him english . I wanted to score my final exam. And guess what? I improved from 50% to 85% and  got number 3rd in my class . it was a suprise to my maths teacher . Dia test lagi saya kt whiteboard sebab ingat saya meniru. He gave me a difficult one but I could solve it perfectly . And that time , I got my spirit up dan improve myself from year to year until I got into the first class "5 utarid" and maintained and scored 5 A's in my UPSR.

I got an offer to a premier school in Pasir Gudang and I accepted . SMK Dato Penggawa Timur. I was in 1 intan and involved myself in sports and music. I became the gamelan leader and was the youngest off all in my team , I got close with the seniors . I'm a friendly person once you get to know me but I still respect my seniors. Hehehe. and yet I still struggle in my mathematics and Danial Aiman , my best buddy taught me a lot , and kitaorang selalu bertanding who got the highest marks and I sat for my PMR examination. Alhamdulillah , I got 7 A's 1B. Eventhough , i didn't achieve my score but well Allah has better plans for me . I spend 3 years of my high school there being a student and had memorable memories and experiences.

Then , to make the story short , My mum got transferred and we moved to Sabah . I got and offer letter to enter a fully residential school , SM Sains Sabah. And yeah it was so wayyy different from normal school. I struggled a lot that year , trying to cope with the new enviroment and surroundings . I stayed up alone every day to study and be the best . I pushed myself to the limit . I controlled myself , eventhough yet again my worst enemy was Additional Maths , and I struggled my breathe for it during the two years of my life. My friends , batchmates and family gave me all the support i needed and it paid off. Alhamdulillah , it paid of in the end . I scored straight A's in my SPM and scored my Additional Mathematics! 

and now..I'm officially a graduate from smesh . Hehehe ,This little girl has a big journey ahead of her.

                               This was taken during 2009. Alahai skemanya..... Hahahaha

  And this is her now.... recent, taken in 2014. 

 Grown to a fine young lady.. Nasir's Eldest Daughter.

And now from what I heard that Asasi ... is tough, let alone A level has a more higher level. I've gotta score this . Hahaha , padahal I haven't enter any undergraduate programme yet .If i didn't decide to keep on moving when I had no hope of success during my school years, I wouldn't be standing where I am now . So , don't ever give up. I'm going to keep the spirit up , The spirit of learning! Life long learning , InsyaAllah....I haven't had any iv's yet for now and I'm envy for those who get, Let's compete healthily. Hehe , Good luck my friends and All the best ! Allah has better plans for me and others that are not selected yet. Allah would never give us harships that he knew we couldn't bear. You can go through this, we just need a helping hand.

إلى الأمام نصف الإيمان
Sabar itu separuh dari iman 
Stay safe, stay healthy , stay connected
Jumpa lagi , terima kasih sebab membaca , come visit again , there'll be more to come .

Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Guidance from Love

Salut (Hello in french) and Salam Alaik earthlings :3

How are you ? Hope you guys in a pink of health..before you proceed , let me a sincere smile from that moody face of yours . Come on people , smile ~~ hehe , janganla asyik nak murung je , you know that frown requires a lot of muscles than a sweet smile .. and adds wrinkles to your skin.. jadi korang semua kena senyummmmm , We live only once , be happy it's a choice :)

"Smile eventhough it's hurting"

That's it , kita sentiasa ada pilihan kt hidup ni ...... To be sad or to be happy .... jika kita sedih dan kecewa atas sesuatu perkara ... let it out , express those unwanted feelings far away by crying , hanging out with your friends , drawing , shouting out loud , singing ,  be crazy and so on. Because we're humans , kita tak akan pernah lepas dari perasaan sedih , sakit hati dan kecewa  even me... Itu semua lumrah hidup . And we people should learn to be not prejudice , If someone had a break - up or something bad happened to them , and we see them smiling.... and laughing. Don't judge them directly....... kita tak tahu ape perasaan diorng dalam hati ...only them and God knows. Setiap orang ada cara mereka sendiri untuk urus diri mereka . Kalau kita nmpk they move on too fast , well.... let them be... and you ask why... because they don't want to feel the terrible feeling that haunts and trapped them in loneliness..... and don't you ever felt that way too?......So , why do you still judge?.....

Take a moment and ponder.... would this little bump in my life matter in 5 years time? And...... why do I have to feel all of this .... Well, kita sedang diuji oleh pencipta kita wahai kawan - kawanku. Everything that is in this world is created for A reason, literally everything . Cuma kita tak sedar .. itu je . One thing that I've noticed about teenagers...ialah sesetengah antara mereka bukannya tak ambil peduli , cuma diorang tak "peka" with everything that is happening around them .. this includes me . Selalu kena marah dengan ayah " He keeps saying... 'kakak use your common sense' . Don't get me wrong ..... saya tau bnyk yang pernah rasa apa yang saya rasakan . To be dragged down and insulted , the insecurities , your pride stomped on, to feel discriminated ,to feel yourself is unworthy for all of your friends and you feel that you're  the most evil person in the world .

There will come a time , where we'll just feel down and alienate ourselves for the world . We just need sometime alone to figure things out . For me , I like to express my feelings by hanging out , being crazy with my bestfriend , writing on my blog and listening to instrumental songs and be alone , looking through old pictures and just be silent . But remember. after all of that you need to held up your chin up high and smile . Be strong , act like nothing happened .  Think of your loved ones , untuk saya.... Bila saya sedih dan kecewa . I like to think about my dad , Mohamed Nasir Bin Abdul Hamid.  He's the most patient and strong person I have ever encountered in my whole life , he's my admirable Idol .

He silently supports me from behind when I was small till I'm eighteen . He'll always be mad at me , but with relevant reasons . He's the one that  teaches me how to be ïndependent" and not to put on "high hopes" to other people. He always notice when I'm sad or down and tries to cheer up by pinching my cheeks and treating me to ice cream. Eventhough, he's really busy with his work . Kakak tahu , Daddy kerja keras semua sebab family , for us all kan ? Daddy nak family daddy hidup senang . Oh dear , my tears are falling... Nanti bila kakak dah besar , dah kerja ..... turn kakak pulak jaga daddy and all the family .... He's a very admirable person , he works hard until late hours, yet he still spend his free time with the family . He's funny and likes to joke around dan dia sangat  tak suka menyusahkan orng lain eventhough how hurt , sick he is , kalau dia masih mampu untuk lakukan sesuatu perkara  tu , he will do it ....Guess... that is where I got my attitude , I inherited it from my dad .

There's another person I admire is my beautiful mother ,Siti Noraishah Azizan . She's a very strict mother when it comes to education and manners. She's a very strong willed and very respected person . She's charismatic and very high educated . She loves to read and share stuff . Sometimes , her lovable charms shows . where she can be really funny . But when she takes a job or being a mother , she takes is with responsibility . She's not that pro in IT like my dad , I usually help her :') Haihh , mummy..mummy.... sometimes I just smile looking at her  . I miss my parents a lot , there I said it . Honestly , I tend to feel awkward to be "manja" with my mum , but that changed since I went to smesh . We're both are trying to warm up to each other more .. day by day.. She's very supportive like my dad but sometimes dia cepat gelabah ... Hahah , That's another trait I inherited . But she's very confident in everything she does and .....I am slowly trying to become like her one day. Sorry mummy , Kakak ni pemalu bila depan orang ramai . But I will overcome it one day .

So, remember dear friends , He will not give us and obstacles that we can't handle alone.. & every existence in this world has their own purpose .

                        And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.

(Quran 51:56)

Protect your loved ones . Make them happy, Support them with all you got... because we all need each other in this world  just because we all are only human :')

              A bientot  mes amie ! That's all for now , 
Thank you for lending your eyes and sincere heart to read this entry :3

Sunday, 6 April 2014

One Way , No going back ...

Assalamualaikum and Hello to my fellow readers :)

*breathes in and out*

Tak semua di dunia ni senang……ada kalanya kita jatuh dan ada kalanya juga kita naik…..Allah , He has our stories written….. but it is us who decides which path are we taking….. Either we venture and the road to Jannah or we run towards Jahannam .  On 19 december  2014 , I will be at the age of eighteen . The point of life where every teenager changes to a stage where the real deal is , how we handle it and how we control ourselves . This is time to shape who we really are….. who you really want to be …. What do you want to achieve in your prestigious life.

Saya ada tengok satu video bertajuk  "Budak Baru" .. it made me think so much ..... it's true decision..... and no going back..... yes..It's time for us.... to build our own paths...our own future, our life..... This is the crossroad between your dream and yourself..... Think wisely everybody....  Hanya satu jalan yang kita boleh pilih...........satu jalan.... yang akan menentukan macam mana hidup kita pada masa hadapan ...
I'm fine here....Allah has given me the priviledge to live another day ... Alhamdullillah :')

Selama beberapa hari ni saya banyak buat research tentang university , tentang cabaran , pro's and con's to be a doctor dan baaaanyak lagi.. Contohnya , pernah tak terfikir untuk tanya diri sendiri macam ni... Kenapa aku nak jadi *insert impian anda* ? Kalau macam nadia.. Nadia nak jadi doktor...jadi... "Kenapa nak jadi doktor? " Nak  tolong orang.... Tanya lagi...Nak tolong macam mana? Pekerjaan lain pun boleh tolong orang lain...kenapa pilih doktor ? Kau rasa kau mampu ke nak tempuhi jadi doktor? With the towering stress , the outstanding challenges, the hectic working hours , the compressing pressure , the heartaches and so on.

You have to ponder and acknowledge what course are you going into... Dunia apa yang awak akan libatkan diri...Nadia....ask your heart...are you ready for this ? are you really to face...everything Nadia? Awak akan mengalami segala perasaan dan pelbagai situasi dan pengalaman.......dan bukan semua perkara itu indah.... kita kene ingat ...setiap perkara di dunia ni ...ada masa turun dan ada masa naik..... kita tak boleh berputus asa dengan cepat....kita kene kuat dan tetap pendirian ^-^ . This is going to be one heck of a journey ..... you have to know how to act , how to tackle your time and energy for work and family tapi...... yang paling penting adalah hati ..... jika hatinya baik , maka baiklah seseorang itu..... be and stay humble.... Nenek saya selalu sangat pesan kt saya mcm ni... "Nadia...... kita kt dunia ni ....hindarlah dari sifat tamak...manusia zaman sekarang..tak pernah puas dengan apa yang diorang ada" .... Masa mula - mula nadia dengarkan aje..maklumla...  cakap orang tua kan ? :) tapi lama - lama nadia banyak perhatikan orang sekeliling nadia.... and nadia kaji sedikit demi sedikit... betul ape cakap nenek... manusia dia takkan pernah puas dengan apa yang dia ada.....

Hati dengan niat kita itulah yang paling penting..... Protect it from the small and naughty dark spots that's going to invade that heart. Niat kita mestilah betul... Niat Lillahitaala.... Make dua for prevention from "riak" and "ujub"in our hearts.... Let us be sincere in everything we do....... Dan ingat.. apa - apa yang berlaku pasti ada hikmahnya.......Allah has his own reasons for all our whys and sorrows... He is giving us what we want.....but.....every human will ask this time to time.... "When ?" when will Allah give us what we want.... Dear friends , we have to be truly patient.... In our lives , there will be sorrow and happiness....Remember .... make your family and friends happy , make them smile.... give them happiness... We don't know when will our time comes....when will our name fall from Arash , and death is destined upon us... kita tak tahu semua tu.... Jadi bersederhanalah dengan cara hidup kita and don't hold back , it's a waste of time wondering about what people think of you, be yourself , be honest..... hindarkan diri dari fitnah dan berpendirian teguh dari anasir - anasir luar. But if you want to dream in this life....remember..... dream BIG.

It's not easy.............saya tau..saya pun pernah mengalami dan sedang mengalaminya.... Tapi apa yang pasti kita tak dapat nak puaskan hati semua orang kan ? dan.. yang pasti kita tak akan terlepas dari menyakiti orang lain ...lagi - lagi orang yang kita sayang .... hurm... this is a fact....dan saya pasti jika semua orang mempunyai peluang untuk kembali ke masa silam..mesti mereka akan cuba sebaik mungkin untuk mengelakkan dari menyakiti sesiapa pun :')

Jadi di sini , saya Nadia Amira binti Mohamed Nasir ingin menyusun sepuluh jari saya yang pendek ni , atas semua kesilapan dan kesalahan saya yang disengajakan atau tidak disengajakan..dari segi perbuatan mahupun perkataan kepada semua yang mengenali saya . Setiap manusia tidak lepas dengan kesalahan kerana kita semua tidak sempurna . Nadia betul betul nak minta maaf kt semua orang dengan hati yang ikhlas. Forgive me for all of my mistakes that  i had ever done towards all of you sincerely from this little heart of mine . 

Dulu... kawan saya pernah cakap "Life is unfair" and I rejected that , I didn't agree . We debated furiously on the topic and ended up silly with the giggles and laughters . I still hold on to that "Life is fair to all people" but another friend of mine gave me a motivational video today..... and it triggered me , it was the last piece of the puzzle ...... Thank you awak , you changed this hot headed girl"s perspective ..... Impressive I might say..... Hahaha, good one . "Life  isn"t always fair but it's great to be alive" . Say Alhamdullillah and do good deeds, show your gratitude to Allah by performing your solat and controlling your lust.

" Happiness is a choice , To be better is a choice , to move on is a choice "

Setiap manusia kat dunia ni ada pilihan , and it's up to us to choose which one ,  is the best for us :) hehehe.

"You can't blame  Shaytan for your actions , because on the Day of Judgement he will say :
I had no authority over you , I only invited you and you responded , So do not blame me but blame yourselves.."

(Quran 14:22) 

Allahuakhbar ... This is really a test for our generation my friends...Let's fight it together.

So, for me I have BE a doctor. seorang doktor yang beriman.. either a gynaecologist or a paeditrician :)

Dr Nadia Amira Binti Mohamed Nasir , insyaAllah one day , Amin Ya Rabb :)

That's all for now , see you in the future my lovely readers .. Merci to you that took your time to read this girl's blog . Hehe. Hope to meet again one day . Au revoir mes amie !