Crushed hopes and dreams

Assalamualaikum , hey .... *fake smile

I'm now doing some research for the symposium...time is limited and I am in a very messy self . Packed schedules , upcoming exams , night classes , weekends programs , buliding stress , unsolve problems and rough times . Everything is in one time , I assure you ...a person who can cope with all of this has  strong mentality and physical . I , on the other hand is a weak and unconfident girl that is still dreaming in the land of fairytales and haven't realize that my biggest examination is coming in a few months . I am still in the midst where children thought that the most pain is where when you fall and scratched your knee. Alas , I was truly wrong ..the pain of heartbreaks , dissapointments and expectations hurts way beyond compare than getting a little wound on your knee . I appreciate when people advise me and say " Nadia , sabar eh ? korbankan untuk tahun ni je ...just this year ..." Do you think I don't sacrifice this year ? I spent every minute and every second timed , my activities every day packed and the strength to go on ..EVERY DAY ..... actually I am tired of people keep saying those words .. Is it wrong , just to praise and appreciate what have I did and stuggled to do ? IS THAT SO HARD ? All people do is push , push and PUSHH ! Don't you know how hard I tried to maintain everything ? but all you see is me sulking and getting emotional for only because i'm stressed and sick  . Well , here is a word from me . I AM TIRED of working my best to get good results , increase my confidence , etc but none of you are praising or even say "Yeah , you have the skill , that's why the chose you"... or say ... "Wow , you are one hard - working girl ". How can I increase my self in academics or cocuriculum if nobody really gives me real support and not only hurting advices . Let me tell you , everyday when I walk up those stairs till the 3rd floor , I feel like my legs are going to fall apart .. Every afternoon I try to keep awake and sleep at 12 every night and wake up at 4 every morning . I know I am not the most active girl or the prettiest or one of the intellegent girls but at least i have the initiative to try to be one . That's is all . Goodbye ..

-Nadia Amira -