Cloudy Days

Assalamualaikum and a very good morning earthlings :) 

Today is the 21st April 2013 . I was very happy yesterday , my friends were all around me and we laughed . we cried , we smiled together . It was the best day this year for me , where I can scream and have fun like a little 5 year old girl . Where you don't care who looks at you , what they think about you and etc . It was a valuable memory that I'll keep for the rest of my lives . Thanks to Abby , Piqa , Lala , Bebet , Amy , Fifi , Shanti and Kamal and others  for cheering me up . I Love you all so much :)

I know what is happening right now is for my own good and it is the best for me . I know it is . I'm not mad .  I am just hurt . Well , we can't stop feelings right ? we have to endure and accept .I will be okay in a few days  . I remember talking to someone if we ended up like this , it would change me in different ways :) hehehe . Don't worry la , the change is too a good way . So . here I am smiling and at the same time the feeling of  regret overpowers me . 

I will focus on my studies after this . No phone , No movies , No laptops and such . This is for my future and   I want to be successful . I have too be strong in any condition I am . Even when I feel weak and helpless , I still have to fight it . I don't know what will happen in the future . I just know that i have to act now .  Whenever i feel sad and hopeless , I have to remember that He is testing me in many ways and He just wants us to be closer to him , He guides us :) 

You there , i know you're reading this , stalking me silently :p haha .

Take care okay? Eat well , you're getting thinner everytime we meet , be neat always . Man up dude .Be safe always and don't forget to eat your medicine okay ? I can handle myself alone . Don't worry :)

I'll miss you loads okay and last of all . I Love you ...

The Unexpected

Salam Alaik and good morning earthlings !

Heartless . Feelingless . Regretful and many more . This year is the most challenging year that i have ever experienced in my whole life . A lot of problems i faced . a lot of obstacles and a lot of new things that I got to explore . I am  grateful that Allah has given me a beautiful life for the past 16 years and I am still grateful now . There are a lot of personalities in the world , various types of person and a even wider range of attitude . Now , I simply want to acknowledge anything and everything that has been hurting me . I just wanna be in my world . Where all goodness and peace lay there without any disturbance , I am sick of being underestimated , push around , being insulted and lots more . It's hard to please everyone you know .

You have never live my life , never experienced what i went through , Note this .you have NEVER been in my shoes . Sometimes i just want to unleash my bad side and give you what you deserve , but i know that will come to no good . That will just be a play to you and you will never learned . Everyone has their own story  and everyone has their good and bad side . I may not be perfect and I may not be as "perfect" as you but I am me . And that is my specialty . I may be seen as weak and fragile but inside I'm strong .

It is a very big and memorable year for me and i'm not going to let a little , tiny , discrete problem to drag me down . I wanna enjoy my last year in high school , act crazy , have fun and most of all to succeed in life . Thanks for adding another lesson to my life , and that is not to be involved with a mentally crazy  person like you . I'm not dumb as you thought I would be . I know everything that's happening and I am aware that this would effect me .

But eventhough i'm hurting physically and emotionally . I am never ever giving up , i'm gonna be strong and face this like every hardship that I did before , the good way . There is no use fighting , getting at each other's throat and ending up with nothing  . It's useless . I feel way better after typing this out . I have my two  adorable bestfriends . Abby and Piqa to help me and support me . They have my back and I love them loads <3 /

I hate you but then I feel sorry at the same time . Assure me , when we are old and dying , we will think back of it and say .. how stupid  and immature I was back then . hahaha , well as a human being , I forgive you after everything you've made me gone through , and I pray for your happiness and I really  hope that you my dear will change yourself for the better for your future .